Kiss Her
by Vicki595
Summary: Daniel's hearing voices - again!


**Kiss Her**

  
  
  
**CATEGORY:** humour, romance   
**RATING:** PG-13   
**PAIRING:** Daniel/Janet   
**SUMMARY:** Daniel's hearing voices... again!   
**DISCLAIMER:** All publicly recognisable characters and places are the property of MGM, World Gekko Corp and Double Secret productions. This piece of fan fiction was created for entertainment not monetary purposes and no infringement on copyrights or trademarks was intended. Previously unrecognised characters and places, and this story, are copyrighted to the author. Any similarity to real persons, living or dead, is coincidental and not intended by the author.   
**AUTHOR'S NOTES:** I'm not sure if I should be more worried for Daniel, or me who had **both** voices in her head! *g*   
  


* * *

_Kiss her, kiss her, kiss her!_

The constant voice in his head was beginning to bug him. 

**Shut up. **

_Go on... kiss her. You know you want to. _

**What part of shut up don't you understand? **

The voice sniggered. _What's this? Sexual frustration? I know the perfect cure for that. She's 5'2, with a killer smile and is probably in her office... **very** alone. _

**Telling you to shut really isn't working, is it? **

_I'm only saying what you want to hear Danny-Boy..._

**Danny-Boy? Really, that's _not_ something I want to hear. **

_Well, how about this? Daniel and Janet, sitting in a tree. K-I-S-S-I-N-G..._

**Oh great. So my sub-conscious is twelve now? **

_Ooh, you want to hear my more, ahem, **adult** ideas on you and the doctor then? _

**No! **

_Are you sure? There are some really interesting ones. Remember that building on P7C-229, which you thought was one of Apophis'..._

**Stop right there! **

_You're so boring, the voice told him. No wonder Janet doesn't like you. _

**She _does_ like me. **

_And you like her? _

**Can we just stop the questioning now? **

_I'll just take that as a yes. _

Daniel sighed, and threw his pen down. He was getting absolutely nowhere with this translation. Not that he'd got very far with it anyway. He had just been so distracted these past couple of days. 

_That's because you've been thinking of Janet. _

**I haven't! **

_Don't lie to me, Daniel. I **know** you have. I'm in your head, remember. I see everything, hear everything... know everything. _

**Then why do you keep asking me questions? **

_Because it's fun to torment you. And I'm bored. These translations are boring. I think going to see Janet is a much better idea. _

**You're not related to Urgo, are you? Or Janet? **

_Janet? Why would I be related to Janet? _

**Jack! I meant to say Jack! **

_Ha! Freudian slip there, Daniel. _

**You know, if Janet knew I was arguing like this with _myself_ then I'd be straight back into that padded white room. **

_And back to Janet we do merrily go. Face it, Danny-Boy, you're in love. _

**Can you please stop calling me 'Danny-Boy'? I feel like I'm a dog. **

_Stop avoiding the truth. _

**What truth? **

_The fact that you're in love with Janet Fraiser. _

**I am _not_ in love with Janet Fraiser. **

_Are to! _

**Am not! **

_Are to! _

**Am not! **

_Are! _

**Not! **

_Are! _

**Not! **

_Not! _

**Are to! **

_Ha! Gotcha! _

**Got me how? **

_You just admitted that you loved Janet. _

**No, I didn't. **

_Yes, you did. _

**I'm not getting into this again, but I _didn't_.**

_I don't see what the big fuss is about. You love..._

**_Ahem_**

_...Fine! **Like** her. Is it the thought of getting coffee with her, or going out to dinner with her one night **that** traumatic? _

**What if she doesn't like me in that way? **

_There's only one way to find out, you numpty. _

**Numpty? **

_Don't go changing the subject on me! Come on; let's go to Janet's office. You're clearly not getting any work done here. _

**Hmm, I wonder why...**

_Don't you get sarky with me! _

**You're a voice in my head. What are you going to do to me? **

_Well, I could start with another rendition of 'Daniel and Janet, on her desk. Having S-E-X..._

Daniel could feel himself blushing. 

**Okay, okay. Please _never_ come out with that again! **

The voice laughed. Please! Like **your** thoughts about the good doctor are any cleaner! 

**Never on her desk**, Daniel found himself thinking, before realising just exactly what had passed through his mind. The voice was now sniggering, and he wondered if it was possible at all to rinse out his mind with soap. 

_So, you're more interested in her playing 'doctor' in the infirmary beds, eh, Danny? _

Daniel was pretty sure that his face would be bright red if he looked in a mirror. **That's not what I was thinking! ** His denial was half-hearted at best. 

_I don't even know why you bothered trying to deny that. _

**Me neither actually. **

_The infirmary would be quite exciting though, wouldn't it? I mean, you never know who could walk in. And you'd have some **really** good memories to tide you over next time you're stuck in there. _

**I'm not going to do it! **

_We'll see._

**No we won't. _If_... and I highly doubt it. But _if_ Janet and I _somehow_ end up in a relationship, then we most certainly won't be doing _anything_ in the infirmary. **

_Spoilsport. _

**Do you want us to get fired? **

_Would it mean no more boring translations, and lots more Janet? _

**...**

_I'm kidding! I'm kidding! _

**You better be. **

_Lighten up, Daniel. Can't you take a joke... okay, don't answer that one. _

**There's something very wrong in the fact that I'm essentially abusing myself here. Should I be worried? **

_Nah! But you **should** see a doctor. Just not Doctor McKenzie. Or Doctor Warner. See where I'm going here? _

**Hmm, let me see...**

_And you called me sarcastic! _

**If I go to see Janet, will you shut up? **

_Maybe. _

**What do I have to do to get you to shut up? **

_Hmm... Ooh, I know. You're going to say that you're not going to like this, but you will do. _

**What? **

_Kiss her! _

**Oh God, we're back where we started! **

_Yup! You have to kiss her, and **then** I'll shut up. Maybe. _

**What do I have to do to get you to shut up definitely - and permanently?! **

_Oh, you'd have to marry her. You know, the whole 'til death do you part' thing. _

**We haven't even been on a date yet, and you're talking _marriage_!?**

_Well, it's the logical ultimate goal in this situation. _

Daniel started to bang his head methodically and slowly against the desk. 

_Kissing her would be less painless. _

"Daniel?" He span round to see Janet Fraiser standing at the door, looking at him quizzically. 

_Kiss her! Kiss her! Kiss her! _

**Shut up!! **

"Uh, hi Janet," Daniel stammered out, nervously. 

"Are you feeling okay?" she asked, moving across the room. "You look a little flushed." She placed a cool hand on his forehead. "You're a bit warm." 

_That's because he lurves you! _

"I'm fine, Janet," he told her, pulling away from her hand slightly. "How are you doing?" 

"Oh, fine," she said, leaning against his desk. "Just been finishing up some paperwork. Gets a bit lonely though after a while." 

Daniel could have sworn that the voice in his head started to whistle innocently at her comment. 

**Say nothing. **

_What? I'm not saying anything! _

**I know what you're thinking. **

_Just because you're thinking the same, Danny-Boy! _

"I, uh, yeah, I imagine so," Daniel replied, trying to stop himself from going even redder. He decided to change the subject onto something safer. "So, got any plans for the weekend." 

_Yes. Because her plans for the weekend are a **much** safer subject. _

**It's a perfectly innocent question. **

_Unless you have an ulterior motive. And you do. _

**_I_ don't have an ulterior motive. You do. **

_We're the same person, Daniel. _

Janet sighed. "Nothing much really. I'm on call Friday night, but I've got both Saturday and Sunday off. Cassandra said that she might come home for a visit on Sunday, but I'm not holding my breath. How about you?" 

_She's interested in your social life... that's got to be a good sign! _

**She's just being polite... I _did_ enquire first. **

_Ask her out. _

**What? **

_Ask if she'd like to have dinner with you on Saturday night? _

"Janet, would you like to have dinner with me on Saturday night?" Daniel blurted out, before he realised what he was saying. 

Janet looked at him in surprise. "Are you asking me out?" 

_Yes, you are. _

"Yes," he replied, looking embarrassed. 

_Tell her you like her. _

**Ha! So you now believe me when I say that I _don't_ love her! **

_No, I just don't want to frighten her and scare her away. _

"I, uh, Daniel, I'm flattered," Janet replied, stammering slightly. 

"Janet, I like you," he told her, looking straight into her eyes. "A lot." 

"Really?" she asked in a small voice. 

_Kiss her! Kiss her! Kiss her! _

Third time was clearly a charm, as he leaned forward hesitantly so that their lips were millimetres apart. "Yes," he replied, as he closed the gap. 

_Touchdown! Go Daniel! Hey, if you don't want to do it on her desk, have you considered yours? Daniel? Are you listening to me? Daniel, are you there? Danny-boy? Great. One kiss and he's a gonner. Now what am I going to do? Ooh, I know. Plan the wedding! _


End file.
